Story: The Awful Wife

Story source: Russian Fairy Tales by W. R. S. Ralston (1887) The Bad Wife

Robber by Pixabay

There once lived a couple who were not in a very happy marriage. The wife would never listen to her husband, in fact, if he said to do (or not to do) something she would do the exact opposite. For example, if the husband cooked dinner and asked her to come eat, she would refuse to eat. If he asked her to come to bed, she would refuse sleep. Even if he told her not to do something dangerous, she would do it anyways. The husband lived a rough life, and would often have to leave the house in order to clear his mind.

One day, the husband went to the store in order to get some groceries. He went to the back of the store to get some ice cream, and saw that there was a man who was about to rob the store and take customers for ransom. So, the husband left the store and told his wife to stay away from the ice cream aisle, and even better to not go grocery shopping at all. Of course, he knew that his wife would do exactly this. So, like he thought, she left for the store and headed straight for the ice cream section. The robber was just starting to pull his gun out when she arrived.

The husband decided to drive back to the store a few hours later in order to see what had happened to the wife. As soon as he pulled up, the robber was running out of the store. He explained to the husband that an absolute crazy woman was in there and that he just couldn't stand her any longer. She wouldn't cooperate with police, doing exactly the opposite of what they told her to do, and she was actually the one take to jail.

So the robber and the husband made a deal. The robber would steal, and the man would get half of the money as long as he never told anyone who was doing the robbing. The two were able to get a lot of money, but the robber soon decided to rob a government building. The robber told the husband that if he turned him in, then he would kill him.. as this was going to be the greatest and final heist. The husband knew that what was happening was wrong, and that it had to end.

So the husband told the robber that the crazy woman worked in the government building, and the robber didn't know what to do. He was already in the building, so he could try to rob the bank and face the woman, or he could follow the husbands advice and get caught on purpose in order to avoid the woman. He decided jail was the better option.

The husband was smart, knowing that the robber would go to jail where he belonged, and that his former wife would still be in jail as well... thus tormenting the robber for many years to come. The mayor repaid the husband for tipping off the police and he lived happily as a single man.

Author's Note: I thought that the original story was fascinating because the husband used the wife's evilness to his advantage. In the original story, the robber is actually a demon who possesses people, and the final heist was the ultimate possession of a princess. The demon ended up back in hell with the wife, and the husband was repaid by the king with many riches. 

Reading: Russian Folktales-Part B

Story source: Russian Fairy Tales by W. R. S. Ralston (1887)

Gravestone by Pixnio

The Witch Girl: There was once a militia man who came across a cottage that was really sketchy. The village was supposed to be plagued by death that evening, but the man said that he would keep guard. At midnight a ghost appeared in the window. The militia man drew his sword and cut off her arm, causing her to leave the village. Everyone was alive in the morning, but one of the villagers daughters was sick.... with a cut off arm. The determined she was a witch and killed her.

The Headless Princess: There once was a king with an enchantress daughter. In the same village was a priest with his son. He would go to learn from an old woman, and one day was walking home late. While on his walk, he saw the girl take her head off to wash it. Soon the princess fell ill, asking that the boy say a prayer above her three times in death. The boy was scared to do so, but was warned that it would all be okay if he just didn't look behind him. He did just this, despite the princess rising from the dead and threatening him. Next he was to hold up a hammer to the coffin and four nails. He did this and was able to show everyone that she was a witch.

The Warlock: There once was a peasant with three married sons. When he was dying, he asked the wives to look over him for three days, asking them to make wool caftans. However, the wives didn't pray, and so he strangled them. Except for the third, who wore a cross and was able to kill the father with it's presence.

The Fox Physician: There once was on old couple that grew cabbage in the basement and ash-hole. The basement grew much better, so much that it grew past the roof. At the top was a mill of pie, cake, and even stew. The man slid back down to earth and went to get his wife who wanted to go, but he accidentally dropped her and she fell in a heap. The man came across a fox who said he could save her, but really he just cooked her in a bath and ate her.

The Fiddler in Hell: There once was a peasant man with three sons. He hid money, but never told anyone where. One day, a fiddler fell into hell and saw the peasant man there. the peasant told the fiddler to go home and not be greedy like him, or he too would end up in hell. But before the fiddler could, some demons saw him. The fiddler played for three years until being able to go back to earth. He told the sons of the money and they shared it with peasants... it only grew the more they gave away! Eventually the peasant man was released from hell because of this.

The Two Friends: There were two friends who were like brothers. They made a pact to invite one another to their wedding even if they were dead. One of course died and the other was going to be married. On the way to his ceremony, the live one went to the grave and invited his friend. But the dead friend invited the live one to come have a drink with him in the grave, not knowing that three hundred years of time would pass. When he went back to the surface, nothing was the same.

The Shroud: There was once a lazy, gossip girl who invited friends over to spin. She fed them and they chatted. She was dared to go and take a picture from the church if they all spun her work for her. She did this, and on her way back home from returning it, she was a corpse at the graveyard. She stole a shroud from the corpse, which came back to the girl's house to get it back. She would not give it to the corpse at the graveyard, and so the girl was taken down to the earth, only leaving her hair behind.

The Coffin-Lid: There once was a peasant whose horse grew tired at a graveyard. While there, he saw a corpse come out from the ground, put it's coffin lid at the church, and headed for the village. The man took the lid, and waited. the corpse came back after killing two villagers. The man asked how he could save them, if he gave back the lid. The man was able to save them and the village was told the story.. and thus able to stake the corpse so it would kill no longer.

The Two Corpses: There was once a soldier on his way home. He passed a graveyard and was called to by a corpse that was chasing him. He fled to a chapel where another corpse was laying down. He hid, and when the first corpse arrived, the two corpses debated on who would eat the man. But they argued until sunrise and so they died. The man was saved and thanked God.

The Dog and the Corpse: There was once a peasant who went with his dog to find game. He passed a graveyard and saw a corpse. It chased them and the dog began to fight with it. The owner ran off and the dog fought until sunrise. Then the dog came home and bit at the master for not helping it. They had to chain the dog up and eventually kill it because of the grudge.

The Soldier and the Vampire: A soldier was going home one day and decided to see an old miller friend. They chatted until dark, and the soldier left for home, despite his friends warning about a warlock that was terrorizing the village. He came across the warlock who invited him to a wedding. The warlock killed all of the guests after drinking too much, but could bring them back to life if he pleased. The two then fought until daylight and then the warlock fell dead. The soldier was able to bring the wedding party back to life and the village burned the warlocks body, bringing peace to the village.

Reading: Russian Folktales- Part A

Story source: Russian Fairy Tales by W. R. S. Ralston (1887)

Russian Copecks

The Dead Mother: There was once a lovely couple who had a little boy. Sadly, the mother died in childbirth, leaving the father to care for him alone. He hired an old woman to care for the baby, who cried all day, yet slept all night. Soon they began to realize that someone was coming in to suckle the baby at night, this calming him. They decided to spy out all night and see who was doing this. Finally, they saw the mother's ghost, feeding the child from her breast. They were terror stricken, and soon saw that the baby was dead.

The Treasure: There was once an old couple that were very poor. Sadly, winter came and the woman passed away. But the husband had no money to pay for a funeral. No one would help him dig a grave for free, so he went to digging himself. Luckily, he came across a pot of gold, going back to the pope. After paying the pope, they had a proper funeral for the woman. They feasted, and the pop couldn't help but ask where the gold came from. He became jealous of the man, and decided to dress up as the devil in order to get the gold for himself. But when his wife tried to cut the goatskin costume off, the skin had became one with his body. God had punished his greed.

The Bad Wife: There was once an awful wife who never listened to her husband. One day, to escape the grief, the husband went to pick berries and found a large pit. He went home and told the wife to not go pick berries, knowing she would now. She fell into the pit and the husband joyfully went home. He went to see how things were going, and he pulled a demon out of the pit who begged not to be sent back in the pit with the awful woman. The demon would go around possessing people, and when the man would appear, he would leave. Thus the man was now rich, and the demon would go posses the princess. But the man tricked the demon into going back to the pit, and he lived happily with half of the kings riches.

The Three Copecks: There was once a poor little orphan who decided to sell himself as a slave to the king. He was paid, but would throw the payment into the well, only claiming it until it floated three years later. He bought a kitten that he saved from torment, and then went to sit on a merchants ship. The merchant wanted the cat to chase the mice, and the boy made a deal with him. But when the merchant was offered gold for him, he sold the cat with no intentions of giving the boy any of the payment. The seas began to torment him, and after paying, the storm stopped and he gave all the gold to the boy. The boy then was granted a single wish when he spent the gold on incense. He wished for a wife and did get one.

The Miser: There was once a very stingy merchant. He saw a man give to a beggar that he had just passed by and felt bad, and so he borrowed from the man in order to give to the beggar. When the man came to get his money back, the merchant claimed over and over again that he had no change. The merchant decided to act like he was dead, but when the man took him to be prayed upon in a coffin, he was not able to keep the act up. However, it scared the men who were robbers of the church, and they were able to split the loot amongst themselves.

The Water Snake: One a girl went to bathe in the river when a snake decided to lay on her clothes, only to move if she married him. She had to agree but went home for a week and acted as if nothing had changed... that is until an army of snakes showed up at her home. They stole her and her mother, and took them to the river where they turned into people. The mother left and the girl lived in the water and had three kids. One day, she went to visit her mother and took her kids with her. But the mother tricked the girl into sleeping and went to kill the husband. The girl found out and turned her kids and herself into birds.

Friday: There once was a woman who did not respect Mother Friday, and so she was punished with flax powder in her eyes. She realized what she was being punished for and was very mad at herself for doing so. She prayed for Mother Friday to forgive her and to let her free of her sins. So Mother Friday came back and took the powder out of her eyes.

Wednesday: A woman was spinning until the very early morning, and she prayed to Mother Wednesday to allow her to wake in the morning after a nap to continue spinning. She fell asleep only to wake up to an old woman setting a fire on her stove. She was told to fetch water by Wednesday, but the woman was frightened, and went to her neighbors house instead. the neighbor gave her advice on how to get Wednesday to leave. She did just this and it was successful.

The Leshy: One day a priests daughter went wandering about, and was gone for three years. A huntsman was with his dog in the woods when he came across a peasant. But it was really a forest creature. He chased him to a hut, where the daughter was. The hunter took the girl with him back to town and the priest was very happy. He let the two be married, and the creature was never to be seen again.

Dnieper, Volga, and Dvina: There once was these three orphans. They worked like slaves and were very unlucky souls. They searched far and wide for places to live and settle. The sisters were smarter than their brother, and they left him in a less than desirable place. He woke and chased them into the sea, where they all dispersed.

Emilian the Fool: There was once three brothers; two smart and one dumb. The older two smart ones left and had the younger one look after their wives like a mother. The wives sent him to get water, but while doing so he caught a fish to eat. The fish begged to be put back in the water for good luck. The man did this and by magic, was able to tell things and people to do things for him and it would happen. He ended up at the palace and even married the princess. The two built a castle bigger than the kings himself, and lived happily ever after.