Story: The Awful Wife

Story source: Russian Fairy Tales by W. R. S. Ralston (1887) The Bad Wife

Robber by Pixabay

There once lived a couple who were not in a very happy marriage. The wife would never listen to her husband, in fact, if he said to do (or not to do) something she would do the exact opposite. For example, if the husband cooked dinner and asked her to come eat, she would refuse to eat. If he asked her to come to bed, she would refuse sleep. Even if he told her not to do something dangerous, she would do it anyways. The husband lived a rough life, and would often have to leave the house in order to clear his mind.

One day, the husband went to the store in order to get some groceries. He went to the back of the store to get some ice cream, and saw that there was a man who was about to rob the store and take customers for ransom. So, the husband left the store and told his wife to stay away from the ice cream aisle, and even better to not go grocery shopping at all. Of course, he knew that his wife would do exactly this. So, like he thought, she left for the store and headed straight for the ice cream section. The robber was just starting to pull his gun out when she arrived.

The husband decided to drive back to the store a few hours later in order to see what had happened to the wife. As soon as he pulled up, the robber was running out of the store. He explained to the husband that an absolute crazy woman was in there and that he just couldn't stand her any longer. She wouldn't cooperate with police, doing exactly the opposite of what they told her to do, and she was actually the one take to jail.

So the robber and the husband made a deal. The robber would steal, and the man would get half of the money as long as he never told anyone who was doing the robbing. The two were able to get a lot of money, but the robber soon decided to rob a government building. The robber told the husband that if he turned him in, then he would kill him.. as this was going to be the greatest and final heist. The husband knew that what was happening was wrong, and that it had to end.

So the husband told the robber that the crazy woman worked in the government building, and the robber didn't know what to do. He was already in the building, so he could try to rob the bank and face the woman, or he could follow the husbands advice and get caught on purpose in order to avoid the woman. He decided jail was the better option.

The husband was smart, knowing that the robber would go to jail where he belonged, and that his former wife would still be in jail as well... thus tormenting the robber for many years to come. The mayor repaid the husband for tipping off the police and he lived happily as a single man.

Author's Note: I thought that the original story was fascinating because the husband used the wife's evilness to his advantage. In the original story, the robber is actually a demon who possesses people, and the final heist was the ultimate possession of a princess. The demon ended up back in hell with the wife, and the husband was repaid by the king with many riches. 

Story: The Queen of Hearts' Diary

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (1865)

The Queen of Hearts Maze at Disneyland Paris

Dear Diary,

I was walking along with my loyal soldiers when I saw the sight that I never wanted to see. Some little thing was wandering about my garden. Oh and what is this.... three subjects faced down on the ground. I asked the thing (it was a little girl) what her name was and she simply stated that it was Alice. What a strange name... I decided to ask her what my subjects were doing and she claimed to have no mind in the matter. Who was she to say this!? My face got hot and I wanted her head to roll! My dear King cooled my temper and I moved on to see what the gardener subjects were doing. As it turns out, they were painting my flowers. My beautiful red roses were actually white! My face became hot yet again and I needed their heads off, no its ands or buts about it.

When I heard that their heads were off, I felt so much better. Then I wanted to play a round of croquette. I was even nice enough to invite this little Alice. I yelled at everyone to get to their places, and they did just as I was told... thankfully, or I would have had to take their heads off so prematurely. I played wonderfully, as usual! And I only had to chop off a few heads in the process. But then some idiot cat came along, and I did not appreciate him one bit. His floating head made my mind spin. At least I could hear Alice mumble something about my winning to the toothy creature... maybe I shall keep her around longer.

Anyways, it was taking way too long to behead the cat. I grew impatient and so I sort of told everyone that if it wasn't done soon, all would see the blade. But then Alice squeaked out that the cat belonged to my prisoner, the duchess. I decided to have some guards fetch her. She obviously needed to be questioned.


Author's Note: The story of Alice in Wonderland always fascinated me, and I have always loved the croquette scene due to the hedgehogs (used as the balls). The queen is the ultimate crazy person, and so I decided to write the story in her point of view. I saw it as a diary entry, as if she could show it to her therapist... which she obviously needs in order to get a handle on her anger issues!

Story: Pa the Storyteller

Story source: American Indian Fairy Tales by W.T. Larned, with illustrations by John Rae (1921)
Based off of Iagoo, the Story-Teller and Shin-ge-bis Fools the North Wind

My personal picture of my Pa: Over 80 years old and still building cars!

There was once an amazing grandfather who was simply called Pa. He was loving to all of his grandchildren and would tell them stories in order to teach them life lessons. He would also tell these stories to help his grandchildren face their fears of the world, and to know that courage and intelligence can get you anywhere.

One day, one of his granddaughters asked him to tell her about tornadoes. As a young girl growing up in Oklahoma, she was very afraid of tornadoes. So, Pa told her about the invention of storm shelters. He told her that long ago, man and nature had a quarrel.....

Man was the new ruler of the world, afraid of nothing. This was something that the wind did not take lightly. The wind used to be feared by all, but man make a mockery of the wind. Man would show no fear when wind blew fiercely across the land, even when animals would tremble in fear. The wind decided to gather as much strength as possible, and soon a tornado was up and roaring. It headed straight for the man, chasing him for many miles. Soon, they reached a large hole in the ground. The wind found this as a perfect chance to trap the man. However, when the man jumped in the hole, the tornado couldn't reach him. Therefore, something that the wind thought would be the downfall of man, actually ended up saving him.

Author's Note: I decided to write this story because Iagoo reminded me of my Pa immediately. He is someone who is always teaching me something and telling me stories, both silly and serious. I wanted to keep the wind and man as the main characters, but I also decided to put my own personal twist into the story as well. Growing up in Moore, OK has been a challenge, but it has also made me stronger as a person as well. I hope that this story was relatable and still was close to the original as well.

Story: The Ungrateful Man

Based off of the story of The Fox-Woman from  Tales of the North American Indians by Stith Thompson (1929)

A Penthouse Suite by Roderick Eime

There once was a businessman who never married. He was always very busy working and he was never able to go on dates. He lived in a large penthouse loft that seemed to become dusty very easily... yet when he came home it was always dusted. In fact, not only was his house always dust free, but his bed was also made, the carpet always vacuumed, and dinner was always hot and ready for him when he came home. Since he was so busy, he never bothered to find out who did all of this, until one day when his curiosity go the best of him. Instead of going to work, he got all dressed and ready one day only to hide behind his penthouse door. After waiting a while, the door opened and in walked the beggar who would stand in front of his loft building every evening. He decided to follow her into the kitchen where there were some cleaning supplies stored away, only to see that she was a beautiful woman underneath the rags of clothes. He decided to talk to her and ask why she would come clean and cook for him every day. She told him that she saw that he kept a spare key above the door frame, and that since he always gave her his spare change, she wanted to repay him. In fact, over the years she had fallen in live with him. They dated for a while, and had a happy relationship... that is until he decided to make comments about catching whiffs of body odor every so often. The girl told him that the odor was her, because she had no home to shower at, and he never offered her use of his. After all she had done for him, and the endless great treatment she gave him, he would still judge her on her smell. So she marched right out of the penthouse, never to trust a man again.

Author's Note: In the original story, the woman is actually a fox who smells like it. Despite looking like a beautiful woman and doing all of these things for her man, she still judges her for her odor. I wanted to try and make the story a little more believable as opposed to keeping an animal-human hybrid. Homeless people are judged on things such as their smell or lack of hygiene, even if they are extremely kind and loving. I wanted to highlight this sad truth in my story instead, and give some power to the homeless woman as she has the courage to walk out on the man despite his financial status. I hope I was able to portray the lesson that some people will think that you owe them something because they are better than you, but they are not better than you, and you have the power to leave them!

Story: The Man Who Wished to Die

Japanese Fairy Tales by Yei Theodora Ozaki (1908)
Based on the story: The Man Who Did Not Wish to Die

Paper Crane by Andreas Bauer

There once was a man who was bored of life and took pleasure in the thought of death. He had heard stories of people who were very happy and wealthy but lived short lives. He decided to try and find the life of these people he so longed to be. He first sent someone else along to find these people, but when they didn't return, he decided to look for them himself. Soon, he stumbled across a shrine and prayed for seven days. He then was approached by someone who told him that the people he was searching for lived in solitude in a far off land. The person gave him a little paper crane, which grew and grew until it was big enough to carry him and fly over to this land. When they arrived, the crane folded back up and placed itself in his pocket. The land was nothing like the man's home land. Everyone there was very welcoming, but sadly all of them dreaded the inevitability of death. They were all unable to enjoy their lives luxury because they felt that death followed them everywhere they went. They thought that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence so to speak, just as the man did. They tried all sorts of medications, teas, and exercises in order to attempt living longer, but still people would die at young ages. The healthier they tried to be, the earlier their deaths would come! After a while, the man was able to fit in comfortably with the new people, and even had a growing business. He was basically the only happy man in all of the land. But after a while, life became monotonous, and he was curious about his home land. He was tired of living a so called perfect life, but still being surrounded by the sadness of death. He decided to pray, until he felt the little crane begin to unfold in his pocket. Soon, the crane was back to its large size and the man was able to get back on it's back. But while crossing the sea on the way back to his homeland, the weather began to turn sour. The paper crane was unable to fly in the heavy rain and wind. They both began to dive bomb towards the water, until they both came crashing into a large wave. The man was frightened and his fear was heightened even more when he saw the fin of a shark heading right for him. Just when he was about to be face to face with the shark, the man woke up! He had been dreaming in the shrine the entire time! Then, an angel appeared before him and told him to remember this life lesson. He went back home and lived out the rest of his long life happily and without envy.

Author's Note: I really liked the overall theme of this story. It is common to envy other people, and this was a great example of how we should be thankful for what we have. The original story was actually the opposite, in which the man did not want to die. The people of the new land tried many ways to die because they were sick of living long lives of unhappiness. The ending of the story essentially remained the same in which an angel came to warn the man of heeding the lesson, and the man returned home.

Story: The Man and his Wife

Based on Tibetan Folk Tales: The Man and the Monkeys by A.L. Shelton with illustrations by Mildred Bryant (1925)

A Cop and Lamborghini by Richard Masoner

There once was a man who won the lottery. He would no longer have to work, no longer have to cook or clean up after himself, and could buy anything he wanted. One day, the man fell asleep in his large and comfortable memory foam bed. While he was asleep, a burglar came into his home in order to hold the man hostage for ransom. His maid saw what had happened when she showed up to work the next morning, but she wasn't strong enough to fight back for him. She decided to go to the at home gym upstairs and work out until she was strong enough to fight the burglar. She drank protein shakes and constantly weighed herself in order to see how much muscle she was gaining. Finally, she was strong enough to fight back and save the man. He was quite shaken up after being freed, and the maid suggested a good workout in order to relieve some stress. After working out, the man was very tired and laid down to rest on the hard floor of his gym. Meanwhile, the maid was in the kitchen making them protein shakes with the blender. The blender was so loud and annoying, and the man thought it would be much easier to relax without the maid making so much noise. He thought to himself, I should just fire this maid and have my girlfriend move in with me. So, when the maid left for the day he texted her and told her she was fired... knowing that without the money he paid her, she would be unable to provide for her own family. He was happy with his decision and went to go and get his girlfriend in his bright red Lamborghini. Little did he know, the neighbor of the maid was a police officer who dearly loved the sweet maid next door, as she looked after his children when he worked late shifts. When the cop saw the man in the Lamborghini, he pulled him over for speeding, driving while under the influence, resisting arrest, and assaulting a police officer. The man was thrown into jail for the rest of his life.

Authors Note: This was one of my favorite stories from the Tibetan folk tales, and so I decided to completely change it up. Instead of a man finding the garden of Eden and killing monkeys that helped him, I decided to try and modernize the story to reflect a rich man who is punished for being a back stabber to the person who rescued him. In the original story, the man is eaten by the monkey king that is turned into a snake, but as you can imagine I didn't think that ending matched with my revised story.

Story: The Sad Tail of the Yorkie's Toy

Inspired by The Sad Tale of the Mouse's Tail, part of the Persian Tales unit. Story source: Persian Tales, translated by D.L.R. Lorimer and E.O. Lorimer and illustrated by Hilda Roberts (1919).

My Dog Jessie... Pouting about her toy under the couch

One day the yorkie lost her toy under the couch.

So she went to her human and barked at her to help.

The girl said: go to the store and buy a flashlight so I can see.
So the yorkie ran to the store and asked the clerk for a flashlight for the girl so she could see

The clerk replied: go to your grandparents to get money and I'll give you the flashlight
So the yorkie went to her grandparents and begged for money to pay the clerk for the flashlight to give to the girl so she could see

The grandparents replied: go to the bank and ask for money
So the yorkie went to the bank to ask the teller for money for the grandparents to give her to pay the clerk for the flashlight to give to the girl so she could see

The teller replied: go to my boss's house to get the key to the vault
So the yorkie went to the boss's house to get the key so the teller could access the vault for the grandparents to give her money to play the clerk for the flashlight to give to the girl so she could see

The boss replied: go to the locksmith to make a key
So she went to the locksmith to get the key for the boss so the teller could access the vault for the grandparents to give her money to play the clerk for the flashlight to give to the girl so she could see

The locksmith replied: ask my assistant to gather the materials
So she went to the assistant and said....
Gather the materials for the locksmith to make the key for the boss so the teller could access the vault for the grandparents to give her money to play the clerk for the flashlight to give to the girl so she could see MY LOST TOY UNDER THE COUCH!

Author's Note: My dog was being really annoying about her toy under the couch when I was reading this story, and so I decided to give her a story of her own. The mouse was so willing to do whatever it took to get his tail sewn back on, just like my yorkie begs until she gets what she wants. This story is meant to build and be a little chaotic, which was really fun to write considering I have never written a story quite like this. I encourage you to take a look at the original story in order to understand why I wrote the story like this.

Week 5 Story: Milli Vanilli the Soothsayers?

There once was two men attending a disco dance seminar in California. When they were there, they saw a large group of people trying to get a look at the most famous performers of Los Angeles.

The duo had a very dear friend who was a music producer. He wanted them to be just as famous as these stars that gathered crowds. So, the music producer told them that they were to become performers, or they would no longer be friends. This meant if they didn't do as their friend said, they would be unsuccessful forever as no other producer would want them. They were afraid as they stepped foot in the recording studio, as their singing wasn't great, but they had to do something.
Luckily, some other men in the studio approached them and said that they would help solve this problem. So while they were to be recording, the professional studio singers sang all of the songs for them.

The day came that a concert venue needed someone to put on a killer show, and so they decided they would prove to the producer that they could do it. When it was time for them to perform on stage they put on tightest shorts possible and super tall boots, and marched onto the stage. However, they were not the ones actually singing the set. Instead, they used the prerecorded music in order to lip-sync he entire show. The men who were actually singing promised to never let anyone know of the truth.

Just when they thought they had their one hit wonder moment, the producer needed them to perform at the concert venue yet again. The actual singers said that they didn't mind helping this time either, and so they continued to fake perform. The two ended the concert and gained the admiration of not only the producer, but many fans as well. The real singers did just as they promised and did not utter a word of the lie. Not only did the two become very famous, but they won a Grammy as well.

Milli Vanilli Blame it on the Rain (12 inch single) by acme401 (2013)

I got the inspiration to write this story from my parents. While I was trying to find something that lined up with the swindling of The Soothsayer story by Ignacz Kunos (1913), I asked my parents for advice. They both mentioned Milli Vanilli, a duo that I had absolutely no idea about. After doing some research on them, I knew that they would be the perfect pair to write about. Not only did this story give me an original inspiration, but it also led me to learn about a really crazy story that my parents were familiar with.

Week 4 Story: Cupid, Kanye, and the Kardashians

Inspired by: Apuleius's Golden Ass, as translated into English by Tony Kline (2013)

Los Angelas, CA - May 2012: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West by Getty Images

The Kardashians are without a doubt known for their beauty and glam... but Kim is arguably the most famous of the three. Kourtney and Khloe are beautiful as well, but Kim's image is usually the one that people focus on the most. Kourtney's baby-daddy Scott likes to drink and party a bot too much, but needless to say he is quite the rich man. Khloe's baby-daddy Tristan is rich as well, but unfaithful. One could say that the two never struggle, but they can't help but to be jealous of Kim's ultra-famous husband Kanye. Their men just couldn't cut it, and between Scott's immaturity and Tristan's cheating, Kanye can easily be seen as the best of them all. But why does Kim get all the glory? Don't they deserve to have the luxuries that Kim has as well? One day they decided that it was their time to be in the spotlight. Kanye warned Kim of the sisters conspiring against her, but Kim was just too trusting to listen to him. She seduced him with her low-cut body-con dresses and he swooned at her words. Kanye let Kim invite the sisters over, as long as Kim gave no secrets about his new album away. But of course this was all the girls were asking about, and so Kim had her bodyguard take them out of the house after giving them each one of her Gucci belts. But they knew that Kim was keeping a secret from them, and they wanted to bring Kim down. They came back to Kim's house, this time telling Kim that Kanye's new album was trash, and that no record company would ever want it. Kim believed them and decided to listen to their advice... deleting every copy of is recordings and lyrics in the night. But in the middle of listening to the sweet sound of one of his songs, she accidentally pressed the "full volume" button on the speakers and woke Kanye up. When he saw what she was doing, he got in his Mercedes and left Kim all alone. To make matters worse, he also sent her a text, telling her to leave the house that he bought her. Kim couldn't believe what had just happened. Not only did her own flesh and blood lie to her, but now she had to raise her four kids all alone without the love of her life. 

Authors Note: I wanted to make up a modern version of the story of Cupid and Psyche without having to tell the entire story. For some odd reason the only set of sisters I could think of (who were all known as beautiful) were the Kardashians. I quickly realized that like the sisters in the original story, Kourtney and Khloe both had great lives, but not the best luck with men. Kanye may not be the ideal candidate for Cupid, but overall it makes sense when looking at the big picture. Despite some major fiction in regards to the lives of the Kardashians, the skeleton of their lives works well with the original story up to this point. (As far as I know, Kanye's mother doesn't have any bad blood towards Kim.)

Week 3 Story: The Quarrel of the Sun and Moon

Inspired by The Quarrel of the Cat and Dog from Jewish Fairy Tales and Legends by Gertrude Landa (1919).

Sun and Moon from the Nuremberg Chronicle by Hartmann Schedel (1440-1514)

When God created the Sun and the Moon, they were destined to be the best of friends. The Sun would warm the Moon, and the Moon would cool the Sun. The two lived harmoniously in the cosmos and nothing would ever tear the two apart. That is, until God created the Earth. There was less space for the two to roam so closely together. The Sun felt squished and the Moon grew to be claustrophobic. 

The Moon moaned and groaned about not being able to go on much longer in these conditions. He thought it would be best if they split apart in the Milky Way Galaxy. But the Sun thought he warmed the Moon, that the Moon would need his help. The Moon thought that he was cold and hard enough to take care of himself, and so he convinced the Sun to depart. The Moon decided he would go to provide shade for the Earth, and the Sun was to wander off throughout the galaxy. The two took an oath to never inhabit the same space again, as it would just be too difficult. The Sun somberly drifted away while the Moon shifted closer and closer to the Earth. 

When the Moon approached the Earth, he told him that he would provide shade to cool down his land and waters. The Earth welcomed the Moon gleefully. The Moon stayed near the Earth, shifting from land to sea and back again. The Sun, on the other hand, had a more difficult time finding a host. He finally came across Saturn who felt sorry for the Sun. Saturn allowed the Sun to stay near if he agreed to supply energy to Saturns rings. The Sun did exactly that, until the rings began to form around the Sun as well. The energy was too much for the Sun, and he nearly exploded into nothing. The Sun had to leave Saturn and his rings.

Soon the Sun came across Neptune. As he got closer, Neptune warned him to stay far far away. He told the Sun that the rays would melt his ice caps and boil his water. Neptune launched ice at the Sun until they were millions of miles apart. 

The Sun began to get desperate. He soon came across the tiny planet of Pluto. Pluto was happy to have the large Sun near him, as the Sun would provide protection from the larger planets. However, instead of just protecting Pluto, the Sun made Pluto look even smaller to in comparison. Soon, Pluto wasn't considered a planet anymore because when compared to the Sun, Pluto was too small to be a real planet. The Sun had only done more damage to the poor dwarf planet. 

The Sun felt awful and avoided any other planets at all costs. Until one day he stumbled upon a planet that had roots in its dirt. The Sun's rays helped the roots grow and the planet became lush with grass and trees. The Sun then saw the Moon on the other side of the planet and realized that this must be Earth. He wanted to leave for the sake of the Moon, but the Earth wanted the Suns warmth for the land and sea. He told the Sun and Moon that they could both orbit him. The Moon refused to share the Earth, and began to chase the Sun. To this day they are constantly chasing each other around the Earth. 

Author's Note: I wanted to make a story that reflected the opposite nature of the cat and the dog. The sun and moon seemed to be a great choice because the Earth needs both, just like Adam wanted both the cat and dog. Although my story isn't anywhere near scientific, I really enjoyed telling a story of why something happens the way it does today. 

Week 2 Story: Mother, Mary, and Man

I chose the story of The Three Roses, part of Josef Baudis's The Key of Gold (1922) because I found the relationship between a mother and daughter to be refreshing. In many tales of the past, there is a focus on a male main character, or at least a wise father figure, and so I was interested in this change. I decided to tell the story from the point of view of the daughter, Mary. 

Mother, Daughter and Roses

As mother walked into the door my excitement immediately turned into fright. I had never seen her is such distress. She looked as if she had aged 100 years in just a short journey's time. I thought the worst had already been seen, but little did I know that the worst was yet to be said.

"You must go child, or my life will be taken."

When mother spoke those words, I knew I had to show no emotion. After what she had been through already, my sadness would do nothing but bring more harm. And so I followed her back to the palace of the Basilisk. It was strange how such a beautiful palace surrounded by roses could be home to a thorn. If only I hadn't asked for a silly flower. I try to be a simple girl, but this time I wished I had just followed my sisters. 

As I walked into my new home I realized that I now had everything that I would ever want, except my family. Although, I was not able to mourn for long, as the beast swiftly made his way to my side with demands. I was confused by his request of nursing for three hours a day, but I thought it better to oblige with my master instead of be slain. 

The routine continued until the third day. On this day, he came in with a sword in his beak. It was the sharpest sword I had ever laid eyes on, and it looked heaver than stone. 

"You will cut off my head dear girl, or consequences will lead to your death." 

At first I was quite hesitant, but I thought it best to kill than to be killed. I took the sword from his beak and looked him in the eyes. I couldn't help but back away and admire the beast one last time before swinging with all of my might at his neck. 

Immediately I saw something other than blood emerge from his neck... it was serpent. Without hesitation, I silenced it's hissing by swinging again and slicing his head off as well. I then heard the cling of keys hit the palace floor, as a beam of light emerged from the lifeless body of the two creatures I had slain. 

Suddenly, a beautiful man emerged from the light and spoke with sweetness, "My sweet Mary, your sacrifice has delivered me again. You nursed me to health, and you freed me from the beasts. I have no choice but to happily take you hand in marriage." 

When I realized what I had done I was overcome with joy. We wed promptly, and had the most glorious ceremony of all time. Best of all, I saw my mother again, back to health and more cheerful than ever.