Week 4 Story: Cupid, Kanye, and the Kardashians

Inspired by: Apuleius's Golden Ass, as translated into English by Tony Kline (2013)

Los Angelas, CA - May 2012: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West by Getty Images

The Kardashians are without a doubt known for their beauty and glam... but Kim is arguably the most famous of the three. Kourtney and Khloe are beautiful as well, but Kim's image is usually the one that people focus on the most. Kourtney's baby-daddy Scott likes to drink and party a bot too much, but needless to say he is quite the rich man. Khloe's baby-daddy Tristan is rich as well, but unfaithful. One could say that the two never struggle, but they can't help but to be jealous of Kim's ultra-famous husband Kanye. Their men just couldn't cut it, and between Scott's immaturity and Tristan's cheating, Kanye can easily be seen as the best of them all. But why does Kim get all the glory? Don't they deserve to have the luxuries that Kim has as well? One day they decided that it was their time to be in the spotlight. Kanye warned Kim of the sisters conspiring against her, but Kim was just too trusting to listen to him. She seduced him with her low-cut body-con dresses and he swooned at her words. Kanye let Kim invite the sisters over, as long as Kim gave no secrets about his new album away. But of course this was all the girls were asking about, and so Kim had her bodyguard take them out of the house after giving them each one of her Gucci belts. But they knew that Kim was keeping a secret from them, and they wanted to bring Kim down. They came back to Kim's house, this time telling Kim that Kanye's new album was trash, and that no record company would ever want it. Kim believed them and decided to listen to their advice... deleting every copy of is recordings and lyrics in the night. But in the middle of listening to the sweet sound of one of his songs, she accidentally pressed the "full volume" button on the speakers and woke Kanye up. When he saw what she was doing, he got in his Mercedes and left Kim all alone. To make matters worse, he also sent her a text, telling her to leave the house that he bought her. Kim couldn't believe what had just happened. Not only did her own flesh and blood lie to her, but now she had to raise her four kids all alone without the love of her life. 

Authors Note: I wanted to make up a modern version of the story of Cupid and Psyche without having to tell the entire story. For some odd reason the only set of sisters I could think of (who were all known as beautiful) were the Kardashians. I quickly realized that like the sisters in the original story, Kourtney and Khloe both had great lives, but not the best luck with men. Kanye may not be the ideal candidate for Cupid, but overall it makes sense when looking at the big picture. Despite some major fiction in regards to the lives of the Kardashians, the skeleton of their lives works well with the original story up to this point. (As far as I know, Kanye's mother doesn't have any bad blood towards Kim.)

Reading Notes: Apuleius's Cupid and Psyche- Part B

Apuleius's Golden Ass, as translated into English by Tony Kline (2013)

Cupid and Psyche (1639–40) by Anthony van Dyck: Cupid finds the sleeping Psyche

Venus and the Goddesses: Psyche is wandering around looking for Cupid as Venus hears about what has happened. Cupid is hurt and laying in her palace without doing much. Venus comes to her son and scolds him. She basically says how much of a disgrace his is as a son and as a subject of her queen-hood. She wants to take away all of his equipment, and then even threatens to give it to a slave of hers, or destroy them all together. She even goes as far to say that she will birth a new and better son. Of course she moves on to rant about how she is the victim in this situation and how he made her look like a fool. Still angry, she leaves her silent son to get consoled by other gods. Instead of joining in her rage, they actually tell her to chill. They think there is no harm in love essentially. She obviously doesn't take into account that he is a male or his age.

Psyche's Prayer: As all of this happens, Psyche goes to a shrine hoping to please the gods and goddesses. She organizes the offerings and a goddess finally appears to her. She tries to reason with the goddess in order to get permission to stay in the shine until Venus calms down. Unfortunately, it is Venus's aunt and friend. She lets Psyche go instead of holding her captive. So she goes to the temple of Juno, who is known for her protection of ladies and pregnant women. Sadly, she cannot go against Venus either, as she is her daughter in law. No matter how much the goddesses want to help, they simply cannot.

Venus and Mercury: At this point, she has not idea what to do. No one will help her, there is no place for shelter, and she thinks her only option may be to face the inevitable sooner rather than later. Venus gives up on finding her on Earth and looks to the heavens now. She gets on a wonderful chariot and the heavens welcome her. She gets the help of the messenger god Mercury to find the girl. So Mercury goes down to Earth and tells everyone to look for her, and that if they see her, then they will be rewarded with kisses from Venus herself. Venus goes back to her home, while a servant of her's finds Psyche... declaring she has met death.

Venus and Psyche: Psyche is dragged to Venus by the servant where she is physically tormented and laughed at. Venus takes no pity on her being pregnant and doesn't want to claim the child as her grandchild. She says the baby, marriage, and girl are illegitimate, and even threatens to end the pregnancy. Venus beat her down and tore her hair and clothes. She then forces her to sort out many different items into piles and simply leaves. Psyche is so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of items, that ants take pity on her. They form into the size of working men and help to sort everything out, then vanish.

Psyche's Next Task: When Venus returned and saw how perfectly the task had been completed, she was not amused and threw bread at her to eat. Meanwhile, Cupid was locked away as well..partially to heal, and mainly so that he couldn't see his wife. When the next day came, Venus gave Psyche a new task of retrieving a special sheep's golden fleece. The sheep were most likely going to attack her and chase her away. She decided it to be best to just kill herself, but when she went to do so, she was stopped. Someone told her how to get the fleece easily with patients. She did as she was told, and was able to retrieve it without fault. But of course when she brought it to Venus, she still wasn't happy. She gave her another task to go on the top of a dangerous cliff to the waters that feed the river Styx, and to bring her back a vile of the frozen liquid.

The Third Task: As she left go climb the cliff, she could see the snakes, jagged cliffs, and steep steps. Even the water warned her to turn around or she would surely die. Thankfully, Cupid had a slight hold on the royal eagle of Jupiter. So when it saw that his wife was in distress, he swooped down to her from the heavens. He told her how even the gods were afraid of this place, and asked for the vial himself. Despite the serpents still going at the bird, the waters saw the deed as respectable overall, and gave him easy passage.

The Jar of Beauty: Again upon learning that the task was complete, Venus was unhappy. She accused her of being a witch, and sent her off to the last task. She told her to go into hell and ask Persephone to lend Venus a bit of her beauty in a jar. She thought it would be best to get into hell by just dying, and she went to the tallest place she could find to jump off. But then again something spoke to her and stopped her from actually doing it. She was told of a city in which there is a pit that leads to a tunnel. In this path will be a variety of tasks that she must ignore doing. No matter how much these people beg for help, she cannot stop. When she reaches the Goddess, she has to ask for simple peasant bread and the jar. When she leaves, she has to retrace her steps. Finally, she is warned to not open the jar under any circumstances. She is able to do exactly as she is told and reaches Persephone. She then continues on and her task is complete... but not without wanting to take some of the beauty for herself.

The Sleep of the Dead: She opened the jar and inside was not divine beauty, but sleep. She was out cold like a cadaver. Meanwhile, Cupid was feeling much better physically. But he longed to see his wife. He found her and wiped the sleep away, back into the jar. He told her to finish the task, and that he would do the rest. He went swiftly to Jove, and tried to win the support of the gods. Jupiter goes on for a while about how awful Cupid has been to every god, including himself, but that despite this, he will help him under one condition... a beautiful girl for himself.

The Wedding Feast: Finally, Jupiter told Venus that she had to chill, and that Cupid shall have his wife forever once she drank ambrosia. He would make the marriage legitimate. After she drank, they had a celebration of the wedding. All the gods danced and drank and sang. Everyone seemed to be very happy and later Psyche gives birth to a little girl named Pleasure. Now we go back to the viewpoint of the donkey. He loved the story told by the crazy old woman to the captured girl. The robbers appeared again with food. They ate and were keen on treating the animals like crap. Forcing them to work beyond injury. The poor donkey heard that they wanted to just push him over a cliff, so he worked hard and trotted fast to prove that he was worth living.

The Escape: The donkey called out to the god that turned him, saying it was perfect time to free him. The donkey instead freed himself from a harness and ran away as fast as he could. The old woman saw and grabbed the rope, but the donkey kicked her to the ground. Unfortunately, she still didn't let go, and now was dead weight as he dragged her along. Luckily, the captured girl took the opportunity to twist the robe away from the woman's hands, mount the donkey, and begin to ride away. She prayed to the gods that if she got home, she would forever give the donkey a nice life and even paint a picture of her and him riding off so that this moment may be remembered forever.

Reading Notes: Apuleius's Cupid and Psyche- Part A

Apuleius's Golden Ass, as translated into English by Tony Kline (2013)

Cupid and Psyche from the Boston Public Library (L. Prang & Co)

The Captive Woman: A group of thieves who were too poor for their own good, went off and captured a girl of a well off family. She was a beautiful girl who was scared, despite promises from the men that she would be unharmed. They simply wanted ransom money from her parents. The girl however, wept and wept. An old woman who was among the thieves tried to console the girl. She tried to explain that she had nothing to cry about. But the girl wept harder and harder until the old woman became sick of it, threatening her. This story is told from the point of view of a man turned into a donkey. 

Her Dream: The girl begged the woman for forgiveness, as the reason that she was so upset was because it was her wedding day. She was to be married to her cousin, a man she was promised to at a very young age. The girl was crying because she had a dream that she was kidnapped out of the hands of her mother. No one fought for her, and her soon to be husband would live a life alone. That is until he was killed in her dream by one of the thieves. The woman told her not to take it seriously, and that she would tell her a story to make her feel better. 

Psyche's Beauty: The story begins with a king and queen who had three beautiful girls, with the youngest being the most beautiful. People from all around would come to see the young lady. People didn't bother with seeing the temples and shrines of Venus any longer, as the gave offerings to the girls instead. Venus became jealous from the heavens and vowed to make the girl suffer for her beauty. She took her son Cupid to go and have her fall in love with the most awful of men. She told him to use his bow and arrow as she sweet talked him.

The Oracle of Apollo: Poor Psyche stayed forever adored, but loved by no suitor. Even her sisters got married to royalty, but she was alone. Her father went to Apollo to beg for a blessing, but instead cursed the girl to a fatal marriage. The girl stayed humble however, and we ready to face whatever she needed to. She was taken to the top of a cliff, only to be left by all with wedding flowers and a dress. She simply laid her head down in the grass, and waited.

The Magical Palace: When she woke, she saw beautiful crystal lake in front of a godly palace. She looked all around the outside and inside of the palace. Then a voice told her that this was all to be hers, that she could go to her bed to sleep. Then she could bathe before a meal. She did exactly this, and when she went to eat her feast, things just appeared before her. Again, she only heard voices and music, but no people were in sight.

The Mysterious Husband: She retired to bed, but knew that this evening would be different. Her unknown husband made love to her in the night, and left before the morning came. Meanwhile, her parents and sisters mourned the unfortunate thing that had happened to her. One day, the husband spoke to her. He told her that her sisters were going to come to the cliff to look for her, and she must ignore them. She felt that this was awful. She wept and wept, even when her husband came to her. She begged him to let her see them and give them gifts. He was swiftly persuaded by her seductive ways.

The Jealousy of Psyche's Sisters: The sisters did come, and Psyche invited them into the palace. Soon, they grew envious and started to ask questions about the husband. She avoided their questions and quickly shooed them away. They told each others about their awful lives and their bad husbands. They felt that they had gotten the short end of the stick and that the youngest sister was so undeserving of all that she was given. They plotted to keep what they knew hidden from their parents, and to go back to knock their sister down.

Psyche's Husband Warns Her: The sisters faked injury and went running to their parents, plotting murder. Meanwhile, the husband told her that he would give her a divine child if she did as she was told and ignored the sisters. She wasn't to speak about her husband at all. Again she was able to seduce her husband into letting her see her sisters, despite his warnings. She promised to never ask about his image ever again, but still hoped that the child she was to bear would look like him.

Fears and Doubts: The sisters did come again, and faked being nice to Psyche. Again she thought of lies to tell them about her husband, and again had them taken away by the wind. They knew she was lying this time. They came to her again with a lie that her husband was going to eat her after she gave birth, as he was a monster. She thought that her sisters would never lie to her, and so she believed them. She admitted that she had never seen his face, and they told her to kill the man. They told her that they would wait and take her back to a mortal man to marry. She was left by the sisters and was so torn, yet she prepared for the kill. So she waited until her husband fell into a deep sleep.

Psyche's Husband Revealed: She went to do the deed, but saw that the man was Cupid himself. She had to hide the blade, but couldn't help but look at him again. Then she admired his wings, and his weapons. She took out an arrow and accidentally pricked her finger. She then fell in love with Cupid even more. But he was woken up by the lamp's oil, and so he left his wife alone. He told her that he warned her, that he should have listened to his mother. Now he would leave her, and her sisters would face their own punishments for causing all of this.

Psyche's Despair: She flung herself into a river and was found by Pan, who told her to pray to Cupid, as he could tell she was lovesick. She wound up at her sister's husband's palace. Who quickly was taken away to a cliff. She and her sister both shared the same fate that Cupid brought upon them, death by the jagged rocks. Their bodies to be eaten by animals. It is unknown what happens to Psyche yet...