Thursday, September 12, 2019

Comment Wall

Hello everyone! Feel free to check out my Storybook on King Arthur, the Knights of the Round Table, and more of our friends from Camelot. *Fair warning: crazy ER stories involve some gruesome detail about blood, bones, etc. Read with caution if you have a weak stomach!

Image result for king arthur
The Death of King Arthur by James Archer (1860)


  1. Hey Megan! Wow, I love your idea of a medical chart for the Knights of the Round Table! How creative! I can't wait to see it when it's finished.

    One suggestion I'd make would be to find some higher resolution images because, at least on my computer, your header images look pretty pixelated. Your images add so much to the story and really put the reader there! If you do a Google search, click "tools", you can filter not only by usage rights, but by size. I've used that tool many times!

    Also, one little thing: When you say, "If death occurs do to homicide," the word "do" should be "due". It's a common mistake!

    I totally get why you did your introduction the way you did. It makes sense to me because I did something similar for my site: I used my intro page not to explain the stories, characters, or anything, but just to prepare the reader for what kind of journey they're going to take. I see a similarity in what you've done by not really going into detail regarding your content, but letting it speak for itself and getting the reader in the mood.

    Good luck, and can't wait to see more!

    - Cate

  2. Hey Megan!
    First off, I really enjoyed reading the welcome and the first page of your storybook! I think it is such a creative idea to make this a medical chart, and I am really excited to see what you are planning on doing with this for the rest of the semester. Something that really stood out to me was the notice at the bottom of the page. I know this is a minor detail, but it made the page seem very realistic!
    I agree with Cate in the above comment, that your pictures are a little bit pixelated. It would add so much to your storybook if you could find one or two really clear pictures for your headings and then also for each page. I am a visual person and so pictures always seem to help me understand.
    Overall, I am really excited to keep up with your storybook throughout the semester. I love the idea and I cannot wait to see how you expand on it!

  3. Hi Megan! I really like your storybook idea! I think it's very interesting to combine the stories of knights and more modern medicine and ER charting. First off, I really like your layout! It kind of looks like a real charting program, so cool job! I like all of the pictures you included- they really help tell the story and they aren't too graphic at all. The only suggestions I think I could make are about the writing. I think I saw a few typos in both your introduction and your first story, so I would definitely proofread those one more time really carefully! Also, on your first story, you might consider breaking up that huge paragraph about the patient history into smaller paragraphs. I know that you want to keep all of that info together, which is great, but it might make it a little easier for the reader to read! Also, you might consider making your author's note and extra information at the bottom a little bigger font- it's kind of hard to read. Overall though, you're off to a great start and I'm excited to read more!

  4. Hi Megan! I think your StoryBook topic is extremely unique, and I am impressed that you have been able to combine the knight and shining armor stories with a medical side. I think that the Introduction did a good job at setting the tone for how you have written your StoryBook so far. One thing I would suggest is to create more of a transition from the Introduction to your first story! The ending was a little abrupt and I wanted just a little more before moving to your first story. Just an idea! I also think that your first story is extremely interesting!! I appreciate the detail that you provided with the patient’s case in addition to explaining the story that occurred prior to the injury. Very clever. It might help to break up the first large paragraph into smaller ones so that it is a little easier to read! Great work so far! I can’t wait to read more!

  5. Hey there! I was immediately drawn to your page after seeing your title! I am obsessed with the show Grey's Anatomy and find anything doctor-related to be incredibly interesting. After reviewing your stories and intro, I was not let down at all, and I am very excited to see what more you come up with. I enjoyed the organization of your page how each story is a new patient. It makes it very clean and concise, and also, it makes the navigation very easy. I really enjoyed how in the Welcome page you gave all the details needed to know what was going to come on the following pages. Also, the inclusion of pictures and details made me feel as though I actually knew each patient! What was your inspiration for choosing each patient? Also, are you going to be doing guy and girl patients? Is there anything significant about which ones you choose? I am so excited for you to continue on with this project!!

  6. Hi Megan!
    I became interested in your project through your title! I wondered how you would incorporate stories into this concept. The introduction and your first story were amazing. It was definitely not something I imagined! In the introduction page, there were plentiful amounts of details regarding how you would set up the future stories. There was not much detail about each story you would be discussing, so you could add in brief summaries about each story if you wanted to. In your first story, you could break up the larger paragraphs into smaller ones. This way, it would make it easier to read, but it is completely up to you! One last thing I noticed was the author’s note. It had a smaller font that the rest of the story. You could also increase the font size to make it easier to read. These are just a few suggestions, and I hope I helped!

  7. Hi Megan! I’m from the Indian Epics course, so I don’t know the most about your topic, but I think you did a great job at making a unique and fun project. I love how you combined knights and the ER. I never would have thought to mix the two. You do a great job of keeping it entertaining and informational. Your introduction was exactly what I would expect for something like this! It made me want to read more from you, which I did. I also liked Gareth’s file. I wasn’t sure how you were going to tell a story using this format, but you did it quite well. I liked how you were able to show the other characters in this way as well. It tells a complete narrative in a different way. I appreciated that. I think that you have a great project and I look forward to see what else you do with it!

  8. Megan,

    Really fantastic project! I love the idea, the aesthetic, all of it. The narrative style (in medical chart dry, factual sentences) is brilliant. I have nothing to suggest, unfortunately. Only praise. This is my favorite project I've seen so far. Creative and well executed!

  9. Great job so far, Megan! The first thing I noticed when I opened your project website was how similar it looked to an actual hospital website, which sets the mood for your stories perfectly! You also worded your introduction in a way that made it seem as the patient files you created were real and truly confidential which I enjoyed a lot! Your first story was fun to read and I think that telling the story of Sir Gareth via his medical records is such a creative idea. Although I can understand why it is necessary, the first paragraph of this story was a bit confusing due to the medical jargon used throughout, so perhaps including explanations alongside the medical terms would help readers follow along more clearly. Other than this, the rest of your story was easy and very interesting to read and I am excited to see what other stories you decide to write about!

  10. Hello Megan! I just wanted to say that the creative layout of this storybook is so intricate and inspiring. I can tell that you put a ton of work into this storybooks look. It truly looks like I just logged onto my local hospitals website. Another thing that I enjoyed about this storybook is that the design doesn't stop at the front page it continues on through patient files and into the format of your stories. The stories were also very intuitive as well. I enjoyed everything about these stories from the design to the format to the storytelling. The effort you have put into this storybook has been put on display.

  11. Hi Megan! I really liked your introduction. The way it follows the tone of standardized instructions or legal documents. It made me wonder how you are going to use the efficient tone of patients charts to tell a story!
    Oh Sir Gareth! Waiting 2 moons to go to a professional healer! I enjoyed how you brought a story set in the past with knights and castles into the present with the medical attention he received. I wonder how they time traveled! I think you should include a more gory wound. I didn't quite know what the second picture was until I read about the maggots. I could argue that maggots are grosser than a bloody or infected wound. However, I have passed out from watching someone cut away the necrotic tissue, but I was fine watching a C-section! Where is the logic in that? It seems to me that thee are quite a few people interested in the medical field in this class, so you have a large audience! Well done! Can't wait to read more patient charts.

  12. Megan,

    Oh. My. God! I love the look of your storybook. It is clean, exciting, and engaging. I love the fonts and formatting you used at the bottom of your cover page. It is easily the best cover page of any storybook I have seen so far. If you could maybe find a more clear photo of a doctor that would be awesome but that one you have is still great!

    I think the intro page was done really well also. The red words are a little difficult to read, but it makes sense with your theme as well. What if maybe there was a red background and white words? I am not sure if it would be easier to read but just a suggestion!

    I love how much work you put into making your theme shine through your . design. This is incredible! It makes me want to revisit this page for sure. Awesome job!

  13. Hi Megan!

    I really love your storybook. It is super easy to follow and imitates the medical world really well without making the reader get lost in the jargon. I think it could have been helpful to give a bit more of an introduction to Camelot and its patients, but it is not that big of a deal. I still found it easy to understand your first story without introduction to the setting.

    Your idea of putting Camelot in a medical context is such a good one. I know it is all fiction, but I can't help but always wonder how these characters do not constantly end up in hospitals, haha. I like how you constantly break up the story with descriptions of the wounds. It gives a great perception of how bad each event was and emphasizes the worst ones. I also really like your writing! It's really fun to read and very engaging. Great job!

  14. Hi Megan!

    I really love this storybook. I think you've done a good job of making the concept of medical charts really interesting and realistic at the same time. I loved how your introduction included the confidentiality warning and made me question whether or not I should be reading it. Reading your first chart I was kind of confused as to whether the story was taking place in modern times or not. The medical aspect makes it feel like it is a modern happening but the story is still about a knight and a damsel and feels like an old fairy tale. I think it would be cool if you tried to reimagine the story of sir Gareth in a more modern setting or you could maybe make the medical procedures seem less modern by looking into and incorporating ancient medical practices from this time period into your chart rather than modern ones. At the very least it would be helpful to set the time period in your introduction.

  15. Hi Megan! What a creative idea. I have shadowed doctors a lot so I was really curious to see how you would write the story. You wrote it just like a doctor would write in their charts, which is awesome! I can see how it may be overwhelming though, so I would look at other comments and make sure it works well. There is a lot of information blocked together instead of a drawn out story. This makes it easy to skim and get the important information, but it isn't as story like. Overall, I think the idea is great. I love how you include their blood pressure and height and weight. I think that is more realistic to a chart. I do wonder how the characters are getting such awesome medical attention though. Did they time travel or go to some really fancy hospital back in their time? That may be something to consider and layout for your readers. Great job though. Well done.

  16. Hi Megan,
    This is a really cool idea and your welcome page is awesome. The whole set up makes the storybook very cohesive and I am excited to read it!
    A few notes on the medical information, the blood pressure is a little weird. Normal BP is around 120/80.
    The Reason for visit on Tristram of Lyonesse should probably be psychotic episode, although even that isn't used anymore. It is usually referred to as psychosis.

    The paragraphs at the bottom really pack in a lot of information into a small space. I think it would be easier to process, and more like a patients medical chart, if the information was less compact and more like bullet points with smaller paragraphs.

    Are they in current times or are they back in Camelot? I am a bit confused because of the measurement of height and weight, the stories of the patients and then the MRIs etc.
    This is a really cool idea and I enjoyed reading!

  17. Hi Megan,
    Your page is awesome and it's hilarious that you added Tristam's madness to being in a psychiatric ward. Another reference I was thinking about was Don Quixote where he mistakes the windmills for giants! One thing I was curious about are whether they were actually in like olden day camelot or is he just straight up crazy? Maybe that's the point? Idk! perhaps some more info in your author's notes would help clarify these questions! Anyways, cool story and I look forward to reading more!!

  18. Hey Megan! Abby from Indian Epics here. Your Storybook was so fun to read! I liked the different mode of storytelling that you took as your approach, by going for a more formal medical-record style. My guess is that's something that really interests you too, which always makes it more fun! I did get a little bit lost following Tristram's story, but that may have been part of the objective, given how he is mad and all. Something that may make it clearer is changing how you format/structure the post though: for example, since this is in the psych ward, maybe as part of the medical record you frame it like an interview with the patient, and can therefore present some of his story in the first person. Maybe breaking it up into more paragraphs would help it too; there are just so many events that occur it's easy to get lost, especially as told through the third person like that. I really like the setup and how the Storybook is laid out though, it looks great and the pages you wrote are incredibly interesting! Best of luck as you keep working on it:)

  19. Hi Megan,

    I was so intrigued by you title! It drew me in so I decided to check it out and man it was worth it! I think it was such a unique idea on your part to do a patient charts on the characters you have written about. The opening really sets the tone with the image you used. I love Grey's Anatomy so of course I was stoked to see a "medical" based story idea. I think it was clever on your part to do this type of concept. Your intro made it so believable that I was reading confidential patient information. It really sets the tone of the message. I love each image you used for your two stories - or rather patients. It was such a realistic way to make your story come more a live through the use of pictures. I love the detailed description of the information. I overall truly enjoyed your story and I cannot wait to read more from you.

  20. Hey Megan! This is a very unique storybook. I have not come across yours all semester, but I really love the layout. The way you made the Knights of the Round Table and their medical charts. Very creative I must say. Since week 12 feedback is all about the author’s notes, I will be focusing on the story of Tristram. I think that the way you structured your authors note was very strong. Readers can have more insight in to why you chose to write this story and how your thought process went to get there. I think that there could have been a little more backstory about the original story for people who have never read it. I appreciated the ending and how you decided to add personal experience. It makes the note more personal than just a “brief” overview of your story. Overall, I think you storybook is strong! Great job!

  21. First of all, your storybook idea is such a cool and unique idea. I certainly could not have imagined coming up with the idea! Everything you included fits in so well with the theme from the images to the layout of the storybook. I really enjoy how you listed the patient vitals before the start of each story to add the ER effect. I even noticed how you put the weight in stone in order to add to the King Arthur theme. I think your attention to detail in your storybook is what makes it so enjoyable to read. I think maybe if you add like patient testimonies or something like that to better tell the story could be helpful but that is definitely up to you to consider. Perhaps you could add some images from the stories you are referencing so that the reader could have better imagery. Overall, great storybook!

  22. Hello Megan,
    The idea of your storybook is exceptional. It is so creative and I would never have thought that it would work out so well. It takes a lot of creativity and genius ideas to create a storybook like this and you definitely passed the test. This week's focus is on the author's note. I will continue with what I have said constantly in that sticking to the original story is always difficult. Especially with what you did with your storybook. It is awesome that you stuck with it and continued to create such creative stories for people to read. The note you have did a good job at summarizing the story and giving me details about it, but it seemed to not give me information on how you tweaked the story. Other than that was nice to read it and get more information on the story and where it came from. I will 100% be back to read more!!

  23. Hi, Megan! I saw your commentary on my blog and so I wanted to hop on over and check out you Storybook! I love your introduction. It causes a great sense of urgency and suspense that is so exciting to read! On the story “Gareth, Sir”, I thought it was hilarious that you did the weight in stones! So clever! I really enjoyed the fact that you were able to intertwine the characters emotions in the story with the medical aspects of the story. I noticed in your Author’s Note that you were concerned about things being too graphic, but I thought you did a great job of painting a great visual without being too descriptive. In “Of Lyonesse, Tristram”, I liked that you were able to give so much information about the character right off of the bat! The descriptions of this patient in the ER creates a delightfully disturbing undertone! I am so excited to read more! Great job with your storybook! I hope you are doing well!

  24. Hi Megan! I am in Indian Epics this semester, but was really happy to get the chance to read some of the mythology and folklore storybooks. I know how long you have wanted to be a doctor so when I saw the theme of your storybook I was not surprised at all. Let me say, WOW, you really made this storybook unique and well-written. The patient chart theme was great for tying in all the stories. It also made your website super fun to explore and definitely the most original I have seen this semester. Overall, I really enjoyed all of your writing and the patient charts of characters with very colorful stories and medical histories. I will definitely be back to read the other stories that you add in to your storybook. Good luck on the remainder of the semester. Oh and good luck getting into medical school!!

  25. Hi Megan!!
    Since you commented on my storybook, I thought I’d return the favor! :)
    I’m obsessed with the medical theme of your storybook. It’s so fitting for you (congrats again on getting into med school)!! The layout of your storybook looks like a legitimate hospital website, so well done. Using a medical perspective is honestly brilliant because it gives a new perspective while keeping the original story relevant in the patient file. It was cool to see the collapse of time with characters from King Arthur’s time in a modern technologically advanced hospital. Having the weight in stone was a neat little detail that exemplified this time mash up. I’m impressed that you were able bring the patients to life even while telling their stories through an objective patient file. I’ve never read King Arthur’s story, but your author’s note made me appreciate the parallels in your story of Bedivere’s change of heart before King Arthur died. It seems like a realistic retelling since Bedivere probably would have taken King Arthur to an ER if he could have in the original story. Overall I really enjoyed reading your storybook and I can tell that you are very knowledgeable in both the medical aspects and King Arthur’s story since you were able to combine them so effectively! Hope you have a great Thanksgiving break!!

  26. Hi Megan!

    I want to start off by saying that I love the theme of your project! I think it's so cool how you combined the King Arthur stories to a hospital setting. This is one of the most unique storybooks I've came across this semester. The layout of your website makes it look like a legit hospital website, especially the hospital visit and patient's chart. My favorite story out of all of these was the one about King Arthur and Sir Bedivere. I like that Sir Bedivere is the one to bring King Arthur to the hospital because I feel like he would have done the exact same thing in the original story too if he could've. I think the last paragraph where you described how they are trying to save Arthur was really cool to read. It reminded me so much of Grey's Anatomy. Anyway, I think your storybook is amazing! You did such a great job on this!

  27. Hi Megan!

    I loved reading your project. I loved the world you created. It was really immersive and such a unique take on the stories. I would never have thought to make Camelot ER themed. I wish I would have come up with the idea to tell stories through character's medical records.

    Your writing feels so scientific (you could even say surgical). I thought it was a nice contradiction to everything else we read in the course. The format makes the stories sound so nonchalant. You were right in your author's note: I had never heard how King Arthur died. A betrayal is such a twist, but it makes perfect sense. I liked how you wanted your story to show more of Bedivere's emotions, and I think you did a good job executing it. I wonder how Arthur would have felt if he knew that Bedivere took him to the hospital instead of the lake. Thanks for the great read.