A Penthouse Suite by Roderick Eime
There once was a businessman who never married. He was always very busy working and he was never able to go on dates. He lived in a large penthouse loft that seemed to become dusty very easily... yet when he came home it was always dusted. In fact, not only was his house always dust free, but his bed was also made, the carpet always vacuumed, and dinner was always hot and ready for him when he came home. Since he was so busy, he never bothered to find out who did all of this, until one day when his curiosity go the best of him. Instead of going to work, he got all dressed and ready one day only to hide behind his penthouse door. After waiting a while, the door opened and in walked the beggar who would stand in front of his loft building every evening. He decided to follow her into the kitchen where there were some cleaning supplies stored away, only to see that she was a beautiful woman underneath the rags of clothes. He decided to talk to her and ask why she would come clean and cook for him every day. She told him that she saw that he kept a spare key above the door frame, and that since he always gave her his spare change, she wanted to repay him. In fact, over the years she had fallen in live with him. They dated for a while, and had a happy relationship... that is until he decided to make comments about catching whiffs of body odor every so often. The girl told him that the odor was her, because she had no home to shower at, and he never offered her use of his. After all she had done for him, and the endless great treatment she gave him, he would still judge her on her smell. So she marched right out of the penthouse, never to trust a man again.
Author's Note: In the original story, the woman is actually a fox who smells like it. Despite looking like a beautiful woman and doing all of these things for her man, she still judges her for her odor. I wanted to try and make the story a little more believable as opposed to keeping an animal-human hybrid. Homeless people are judged on things such as their smell or lack of hygiene, even if they are extremely kind and loving. I wanted to highlight this sad truth in my story instead, and give some power to the homeless woman as she has the courage to walk out on the man despite his financial status. I hope I was able to portray the lesson that some people will think that you owe them something because they are better than you, but they are not better than you, and you have the power to leave them!
Hi Megan!
ReplyDeleteI like how you chose to make this story more realistic by making the woman homeless instead of a fox. I kind of felt like the man should have been a little concerned that someone was coming into his house everyday. Even though they are cleaning, I'd think he'd be suspicious that they would steal something and be worried by the lack of security. What if she had been hired as like a maid or chef but went beyond her duties? This way she is still being really kind but it's not as creepy.
Hi Megan! I agree with Hannah and like how you chose to change the fox into a human instead for your story. I like the turn of events towards the end of your story. I like the part where he mentions getting whiffs of body odor and how she tells him that even though she's done so much for him, he never bothered to offer her to use his shower. I think that was a twist that I didn't see coming at all.
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